Absolutely Beautiful!

This was sent to me by a friend from the blog http://badladies.blogspot.com/2008/05/she.html

It is so perfect and captures my feelings exactly. I'm now crying and crying!! I can't believe that K is SO BIG compared to little Q. Time just flies. I just want to hang on to every moment with both! Even the late night feedings, insomnia, and aches from childbirth will all pass and before I know it my two babies will be grown.

Wednesday, May 28, 2008
She

I do it every night now. When it's dark, when the rest of the house is asleep, or almost, I untangle my tiny newborn bundle from my arms and lay him down in his nest and ease my birth-battered body from our bed. I make my way - gingerly, gingerly - around the bed, supporting myself on furniture, against the walls, down the hallway, to her door.

I open it slowly, holding my breath against the creaks, and slip inside. There, in the dark, is she, my first baby. Rumpled and tangled in her blankets, her breathing slow and deep, strands of fluffy blonde hair stuck to her damp, pink cheeks, she is every inch the baby. A big baby, but still. A baby, my baby. In the quiet, in repose, she is no longer toddler, no longer little girl, no longer big sister - she is just she, my first born, my first baby, always a baby, always soft and vulnerable and in need of me, always in need of me.

I bend over the rail of her bed, and kiss her cheek, and stroke her hair and whisper nothing, everything, about how I love her so, how I adore her, how I miss her. How every nuzzle of her brother's cheek brings a memory of her; how every clutch and suck and moment of skin pressed against newborn skin makes my heart burst for him and yearn for her; how my love for him has made my love for her grow and stretch and strain and ache.

How I love her, how I love her.

In the morning she will wake, and run past me, blowing a kiss as she clambers into Daddy's arms, waving gaily as she embarks upon the great adventure of a new day, while I sit, constrained, restrained, by the injuries of childbirth and new motherhood (shredded nethers, ravaged nips), my new love in my arms, my new love demanding everything of me and yielding himself to me, pressing himself to me, in return. I will drink up his love, bathe in his love, as she speeds away, leaving me in her wake, grasping at droplets, holding back tears.

But it doesn't matter, because, always, she will stop again, however briefly, and rest, and she will allow me to bend over her bed, in the dark, and stroke her cheek and tell her how I love her, my first, my girl.

How I love her.

Q has arrived!!!!!

Which take-home outfit will fit Q best??


Welcome to the world!


Q and Daddy!


Checking everything out... The next picture is actually of K right when she was born!! I think they look so much alike in these pictures.


New K!


I'm SO BIG!!! Q was a healthy 8 lbs, 5 oz.


Q's first hair wash and style...


K was not sure what to think about Q. She was more interested in why mommy was hooked up to all those machines!? It was interesting though- whenever K would say something, Q would open his eyes and look around for her!! He completely recognizes his big sister's voice!

Suit UP!

With the weather FINALLY warm-ish, we broke out the suit, ran to Target, and bought the cutest frog pool! It even squirts water- so fun! K was not super interested in it, but I had a blast splashing around! It was a little too chilly yet, but very soon we will be ready for some pool time!

UNTIL THIS WEEK....

Until this week…. I had been basking in the glow of pregnancy- going on walks, doing cardio at the gym, doing yoga and feeling great! Laughing at those who made pregnancy seem like a big uncomfortable deal. I was loving it! No swelling, energized, and ready to take on the world! UNTIL THIS WEEK…

New things this week (and it’s only Tuesday)

- Feels like baby Q is so low he is going to fall out

- Waking up with cramps up my entire leg- if I even can sleep at all

- Bloated, water retention

- Ankles? What ankles?

- Headaches

- Maternity pants are even uncomfortable

- TIRED TIRED TIRED

- Back aches, cramps, neck aches- and with each ache just praying that this is what labor feels like!! Hoping that the cramps come every three minutes so I can go to the hospital!

NEW K developments-

-K discovered what a tantrum is—and it’s not pretty!

-K took her first steps—hooray!

-K’s molars are still busting in making her less than happy and wanting to be held often

Will we make it UNTIL NEXT WEEK??? NINE MORE DAYS!!!!! Oh- but then I’m the mommy of TWO???? What then??

A Trip to the Petting Zoo!

K and her friend B (they are exactly the same age) :) enjoy a rest stop before the petting zoo. B is walking already and K is working on it!!


Baby conversations by the cow bells...


So THESE are what cows are!! K was so excited to finally see a REAL cow!

Time for everything!

It has been one of those weekends that leaves your head spinning and begging for just ONE MORE weekend day. Everything has a super sense of urgency when you realize you have THREE WEEKS until Q comes! I made an aggressive to do list for L and my dad. My parents, thankfully, came and stayed the weekend so L and I could go and learn how to be financially fit at a 5 HOUR conference—yes 5 HOURS of finance 101—but it was entertaining and we learned some—although my attention span and comfort were lacking—I think I caught some things! Maybe we’ll be millionaires by 40 if we follow the plan. I’m doubtful! We spent all day Saturday “learning” and all day Sunday doing a million house projects! Making house look beautiful on the outside to match cute paint job. Buying many many plants and flowers, mowing, picking up limbs from the tornado that came through Thursday, work work work!!!! OH- and did I mention that I went to a wedding shower also today for the fiancé of a child I USED TO BABYSIT!!?? Feeling old!! On top of it all I’m now waking up exactly every two hours at night. SUPER!! Maybe by the year 2020 I’ll be able to sleep through the night!

Ahhh.... a little quiet time!


Yes-- this is me almost asleep!!

Fresh Paint!

We had our house painted this week from ugly baby blue to pretty green! Here's a glimpse...